Raise your hand if you are exhausted of picking apart your body, subconsciously comparing it to others, and trying to meet beauty and body standards that are DEFINITELY not one size fits all. Let’s be real that shit gets exhausting!
It makes you wonder what lessons we are taught as females that we can shut down others’ self-loathing but we cannot turn off our own? That we can see the beauty in others but we often only see our own faults? What makes us determined to feel like our body needs to be better but we cannot be satisfied with where it is at this exact moment? These feelings of unworthiness are EXHAUSTING and yet we all experience them from time to time. We have all lived in a world where the message of body positivity is closely followed by a million different ways we can improve our looks. Too often we see someone on social media or in entertainment say they are ‘body positive’ and yet are constantly posting retouched photos and are promoting cleanses, diets, and altered looks. And even though we know that no two bodies are alike and we know that we all react differently to healthy eating and working out, there is always this nagging in the back of our minds “I could do better, I could look better, I can look more like that.” HAVE I MENTIONED HOW EXHAUSTING THIS IS TO WASTE OUR TIME ON? So what do we do? Unfortunately there is no silver bullet…But there is hope: We all feel this way sometimes, we all go through it, and it doesn’t make us insane. It doesn’t mean we can’t also be confident women, it simply means there are times that we get overloaded with the mixed messages and we have to work a little bit harder to drown them out.
Here is what I think we can do: We can surround ourselves with people who pick us up, who motivate us, and who care simply, and most importantly, for who we are. We can delete social media from our phones from time to time and take a mental break. We can try to remember in our moments of weakness that we are strong, resilient, and meant to be exactly who we are, so we need to keep pushing through to the other side. We have to keep encouraging real body positivity and we have to demand it from everyone who markets their products to us. And sometimes I think more than anything we need to let people know they aren’t alone. We all want to portray confidence so badly that we forget to show some vulnerability. There is community in honesty and elevating one another. But if we want community and we want to belong then we also need to start demanding more of ourselves and the women we surround ourselves with. We have to lift each other up. We have so many more things to accomplish and we have to stop wasting all our energy on the bullshit of not loving who we are. Not just for ourselves, but for the other women in our lives, young and old. We have to watch how we speak about other women’s bodies. We, as women, are just as responsible for ending this nasty cycle and that means we have to stop projecting our insecurities on to other women. Trying to make ourselves feel better by putting down the way another woman looks will never work. It is so counterintuitive to finding real contentment with who we are and who are meant to be, that not a second longer needs to be spent in that negative space. The worst thing any of us can do is to put that pressure on each other and live in that space long term. Society is going to give us enough bullshit about our worth or our need to be better, let’s not put that on each other. Above all, let’s remember we get one shot at this life, ONE. We are each uniquely made and were meant to be exactly as we are, let’s stop wasting time our trying to change the way we look, because my friends that is an exhausting waste of time.