Limits. The ones we set for ourselves. The ones we let others set for us. They are always there. They live in the back of our minds feeding our fears and insecurities. There are some limits we may not even know we are putting on ourselves until we are asked one simple question “if you could do anything you wanted to do what would you do?” That is where it starts as we really begin to think about what we do if there were nothing holding us back; then there is a voice that tells us why we can’t. We may think about that question but very few of us go after what the answer to it is because there are limits. Those fucking limits.
When I used to think of that question “if you could do anything you wanted to do” I saw it as a faraway dream. We all do. We think the question is asking us what we could do if we left everything behind in our current life to chase after something we have always wanted with no strings attached. But I don’t see that question like that anymore. Because the question asked like that, leaves no room for failure, responsibility, or even hard earned success. Ask yourself that question again but in the context of the life you currently have. The truth is you can do just about anything you want to; sure you have to carve out time, or learn a new skill, or make less money but you can still do it. You are still limiting your own life by insisting that anything you want to do you have to do free of any other restriction you may have on your life right now and that is not reality. That mindset is stopping you.
I am not perfect, not even close, when it comes to limits I become fearful to push beyond them. I have to worry about money, being sensible, and I have responsibility to the man I married. I have to consider how these things will be affected if I push beyond the limits I think I have for my own life. But at the end of the day is it sensible to be unhappy? Does my husband want me to be unhappy because I stop myself from doing and accomplishing things out fear and don’t live up to my full potential? No, and he surely will not take being blamed for why I don’t do things. Is money going to bring me more happiness than living out my passions? Money is an important part of any equation, we can’t lie about that, but it isn’t everything and you can find way to cut other expenses out of your life if you really want to. But fear will tell us to hold back even when we know we need to let go. Knowing this doesn’t make it easy to live out our lives pushing against our limitations but it makes it harder to ignore it. Which means the responsibility comes right back on the person it belongs on, you and I. We have to stop using everything and everyone else as an excuse to limiting our own potential.
Have you ever been in a stage of life where you are just miserable? You aren’t really happy at your job or you aren’t happy personally. How does that make you feel? If you are like me, and I think a lot of women are, you tend to take the negativity and internalize it. A lot of the negativity we hold inside is from knowing we aren’t living to our full potential, we aren’t living the life we want for ourselves, and that creates an environment where we are constantly disappointed in ourselves. We self –judge and self-analyze ourselves in to further misery. I am not telling you to go out and change everything about your life and flip it upside down (though if that is what you need to do, then hell yes go do that). Instead the challenge I put forth to myself and to all of you is to look at the things you want to do in life that are scaring you shitless and start facing them. Start taking small steps to accomplish them. Start pushing your limits. We can’t use other things and especially other people to excuse why we haven’t accomplished things in life, we are only limited by those things we impose upon ourselves. Too often our misery is created by us, usually when we stop believing in our ability to accomplish things. So why can’t our happiness be created by us refusing to limit on our own potential?